In this modern digital age, finding love certainly ain’t easy and no one knows this better than Aussie cultural icon Effie.
The Logie award-winning star of such TV shows as Acropolis Now, Effie: Just Quietly and Greeks On The Roof, will be holding up a mirror to the complexities of modern romance with her hilarious show Love Me Tinder which is coming to Spiegeltent Newcastle this March.
But, the comedian just couldn’t wait to help the lovelorn of Newcastle in their quest to find their perfect partner so, without further ado, here are Effie’s top tips to keep out of the digital dating traps!
You can’t have a killer profile picture and then turn up looking heaps worse.
A gay friend of friend of mine did everything technologically possible to his profile picture so he could look like a supermodel version of himself, only to find that when he walked into the bar, his ‘date’ saw him and then looked back down at his phone and up again trying to compare the two totally different versions.
Then the guy cracked it royally. “Thanks for wasting my time tool!” and then he stormed out. Talk about How Embarrassment!
My bestie was totally devoed, but he got the message loud and clear.
You will get sprung
You can’t hide anything these days. So be your truest, best, most awesome self – in real life not online.
Luckily I am justifiably up-myself both visually and psychologically and as a result, I have infinite suitors and options.
I refuse to be like everybody else. I’m just me. Just little ol’ legendary me.
It’s important to make an effort to look ace. That is my daily commitment. I do that for me but the benefits extend to anyone with functional eyes.
Don’t talk rubbish
I’m very aware of the carbon footprint of crap that’s being spun by so many. I speak God’s truth, whatever that means.
Don’t give your bits away
Everybody wants to ‘ride the Eff train’ if youse hear me knocking.
I refuse to let anyone on board until I’m 1000% sure. Yes I’m frigid, yes I’m paranoid and yes I’m hard to get.
But hello the lucky person who gets me will have won the love and lust lottery.
Take inspiration from these tips people and watch them all line up.
EFFIE: LOVE ME TINDER
Friday 27 March
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