So, you’re hitting up Groovin’ The Moo in Wonnarua Country this weekend and you’re not sure of all the DO’s and DON’Ts. It’s ok we’re here to help.
We’ve updated our original 10 Commandments list from 2013 with some fresh tips for the 2023 edition of this epic festival.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself – or someone else.
1) Thou shalt know and respect thy festival fashion
The act of dressing with the intention of boosting your mood is what festival fashion is all about. Those of us who have some form of style credibility tell us that this year we’re gonna see a lot of cowboy boots and crochet dresses. And remember, just because you wouldn’t wear it doesn’t mean you can poke shit at it (see Commandment Number 9).
2) Thou shalt not wait until sundown to make an appearance
You totally dropped some serious cash on that ticket, so you gotta make the most of it, especially this year when there are some sick acts playing during the day. Local band Butterknife hit the stage at 11:20 am – Don’t miss out, fam!
3) Thou shalt know thy timetable
If you wanna be serious about your festival prep, the one thing you gotta do is plan out which artists you wanna see and when. Don’t let old mate Justin hold you back from seeing your faves just because he wants to smash another one of those spiral potatoes into his head. And if you don’t know any of the acts on the timetable at any given time we recommend just spinning around with your eyes closed and wandering wherever the wind takes you.
4) Thou shalt not forget thy alcohol does not hydrate
Okay, so on paper alcohol and water are both liquids – So we understand why it’s easy to mix ’em up. We’ve all been there, you’re chugging on some cold beer, cider, or vodka and next thing you know, it’s been 10 hours and you haven’t had a sip of water. That’s when you know you’re heading straight to Hangover Town. Don’t be dumb, make a few water-stops here and there (there are free stations around the site). Your future self will definitely appreciate it and might even hook you up with some breakfast.
5) Thy shall be conscious of the other humans vibing around you
Is your ponytail whipping the person behind you? Is the sweat that’s accumulated on your bare back being transferred onto someone else? Most importantly, are you keeping all of your body parts to yourself? These are just a few simple things to keep an eye on to make sure that you’re respecting the people around you so that everyone can keep buzzing.
6) Thou shalt wear appropriate shoes
Foot rot is real people, and around those porta-loos (see below) who knows what you’ll be dealing with… You don’t want the only souvenir you bring home to be a nasty foot infection. Trust us, wear decent shoes.
7) Thou shalt treat thy port-a-loo with respect (a.k.a Love thy neighbour)
Sorry to break it to you, but you’re not gonna be the first to use the port-a-loo – Or the last. So, for the love of all that’s holy, please don’t be gross and ruin the vibes for everyone else by pissing all over the seat, shitting on the floor or clogging the whole thing up with poo tickets.
8) Thou shalt pick a meeting spot before entry
You’re gonna lose your friends – so pick a meeting spot early. And this festival map is gonna be your BFF. It’s gonna show you where to find phone chargers, free water, and most importantly, the chill-out zone. Don’t forget to download it to your phone so you always have it on deck.
9) Thou shalt not look down thy nose at the children
With an act like Fat Boy Slim on the bill, there’s a good chance this year’s festival will attract a wide range of attendees, including many older enthusiasts. Those who fall into that category should keep in mind that we were young once too and that an event like Groovin’ The Moo gives the kids a chance to let loose and embrace their youth. And while you’re defiantly gonna see some crazy shit, remember they’re just kids having some music festival fun.
10) Thou shalt not be one of those wankers who pushes people over
Look, we all know crowds can move at a snail’s pace. It’s frustrating, but we’re all in the same boat. So, don’t be that jerk who shoves people in front of you to try and speed things up. It’s not worth risking your life or someone else’s life just to get to the front of the stage a little quicker.
