Heading to Groovin’ The Moo? Thou shalt know thy DO’s and DON’T’s before venturing to Maitland.
1. Thou shalt not dis gumboots
GTM has been notorious for summoning the rain gods, so gumboots will be an invaluable investment. Steer clear of trench foot – your warm, dry and comfortable toes will thank you. And due to recent developments in gumboot design, wearing a pair of wellies in public has become slightly less obscene.
2. Thou shalt not wait until sundown to make an appearance
Hey, you paid good hard-earned cashola for that ticket so you best make the most of it – ESPECIALLY when there are some sweet acts pulling the lunchtime shift.
3. Thou shalt know thy timetable
If you only do one bit of pre-festival prep, make sure it’s mapping out who you want to see and when. Though we’re not entirely against throwing caution to the wind, closing your eyes, spinning round in a circle, and wandering aimlessly off into the sunset – sometimes this is the best way to discover new acts.
4. Thou shalt not forget thy alcohol does not hydrate
Sure, alcohol and water are both liquids and sometimes it’s easy to get confused. And without the red hot Summer sun beaming down on you, it’s easy to forget about our good friend water. There you are, subduing your thirst with an ice cold beer/cider/vodka and all of a sudden it’s been 10 hours since you had a drop of water and you’re on the slippery slope to Hangover Town. C’mon people, make a few water pit stops. Your future self will thank you. They might even buy you breakfast.
5. Thou shalt leave thy selfie-stick at home
Don’t be that guy. Just… don’t.
6. Thou shalt not disregard personal space
Muscle-proud men take heed – Nobody wants your sweaty shirtless bod pressed all up against them. NOBODY. And on that note, anyone who feels the impulse to ditch shirt and feel the wind through their chest hair… You are bad and you should feel bad.
7. Thou shalt dress in weather-appropriate attire
Look, I know midriff tops and shorts disguised as underwear are just so farrrshion right now, but girl, pls. Remember Winter is coming. Remember you are in an open field, unprotected from the fickle elements. Now, I understand the urge to midriff is sometimes just too strong, and in this case, bring a goddamn jacket. Shivering in the mud like a nervous Chihuahua is not, and will never be, a good look.
8. Thou shalt always treat thy port-a-loo with respect (a.k.a Love thy neighbour)
You’ll never be the first, and you surely won’t be the last. For the good of your fellow festival-goers, don’t be gross.