A few weeks ago I attended my very first Drag Queen Bingo at Pelican RSL, home of the endless Friday night raffles. insert knowing chuckles here Hosted by the fabulous Timberlina, the evening, which by the way was sold out well before the night, took everything I thought I knew about bingo, put it in a pair of killer heels, smeared it in lipstick, covered it in sequins and spat it back into the cool night air.
And it is marvellous in our eyes!
I actually learned many new things that night but unless you are interested in my friend Sarah’s altercation with a gigantic lizard in her backyard, I will stick to bingo related learnings.
This is not your nanna’s bingo
Beginning with a solemn and lovely welcome to country, the lady herself burst into the auditorium and opened with a show tune, all red hair and red tulle swirling as she made her way around the tables. Once she stopped and started speaking, a bunch of sweary sailors tumbled out of her mouth. Not literally, of course! Ha! Good Lord, that’s would be an entirely different show with no need for bingo cards or dobbers at all!
After seeing this, I would love to see all bingo callers open with a show tune and then swear like a Drag Queen.
66 is not ‘pick up sticks’
One of the funnest parts of the night was the actual bingo calling. Well, judging by the reactions from my table it was anyway!
From the very tame ’47, I hate Kevin’ to some of the raunchier calls that I dare not repeat here, the ladies at my table were almost constantly in fits of giggles. So much so, that we often missed numbers and there was a flurry of activity as we tried to keep up.
Pelican RSL has a lot of raffles.
Okay so I totally understand that raffles bring in the punters who buy the food and the booze which keeps the clubs open so they can book people like Timberlina and we can show up and have a great night playing Drag Bingo.
I get that.
But seriously. These raffles seemed endless and the constant interruptions were pretty annoying and also made it difficult for the assembled bingo players to hear what our Hostess was saying and thus, potentially ruining the whole bingo experience. Those bottles of wine that were prizes were not gonna drink themselves!
To her eternal credit. Timberlina just made fun of the interruptions and played along as best she could. As she acknowledged, Pelican RSL was among first places to book her so ever the professional, she wasn’t about to bite the hand….
(But for future reference, Pelican RSL, can you try and cut the sound from the auditorium when there is a show or event? Cheers)
Stand up and leave the room ….. at your peril!
I am pretty sure no performer wants to see someone stand up and leave during their show, but if you have the audacity to try and leave a Drag Queen’s show, well honey, you have just become fair game for Timberlina and her razor witted, snarky goodness.
Yep, in your absence, she will gauge as much embarassing info from your assembled friends as she can and use it to entertain us all. Poor Sandra only left because she was called to the front desk. It was a prank as it turns out. But poor Sandra was from that point on, part of Timberlina’s show.
And we all loved it…….even poor Sandra had a giggle.
Be prepared to dance off for that bottle of wine!
If you yell bingo at the same time as another player, prepare to dance off for the prize. Probably completely embarrassing for you but so very entertaining for the rest of us. And if it happens twice, you may have to lip sync. This happened at our night. Honest. And the best part was yet to come …
Two people called bingo and Timberlina, seemingly bored with dance offs for the night, wanted them to lip sync to the Rocky Horror Show’s Sweet Transvestite.
Yeah nahh, I know but that’s not even the funny bit!
The younger lady who was up knew the song and was giving it a really good go. Go her! But the other lady was very elderly, clearly had no idea what the song was, or possibly even what lip syncing was, so she just danced around clapping her hands.
The younger one persisted with her singing but all eyes were on the older lady who was really getting into it now, buoyed on no doubt by her adoring, cheering crowd. The poor younger lady just shrugged, laughed and sat back down.
A bitter defeat I am sure but so gracefully executed. Bravo younger Rocky Horror Show fan. Bravo!
The night was so much fun, we are all doing it all again in February…….but this time it’s a trivia night! YAY! And I am really rather excellent at trivia so I predict I will be taking some bottles of wine home that night.
If you are looking for a fun, grown up night out, Drag Queen bingo may be just what you need. Fun, booze, friends and a sweary fabulous Drag Queen. What else is there?
So don’t be a 66 or a 24 and go book your tickets now!
And always remember ……… number 1 is best because babies are gross.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I am Sue-Ellen (never Sue please, but feel free to ditch the hyphen).After 8 or so years writing content for various online sites and publications, I decided to venture forth on my own and founded Write Here Copywriting in late 2017. My main goal is to help small businesses find their voice in the white noise of the interwebs. It may seem a little daunting to begin with, but when we commit to working together, your voice will suddenly ring clear and true.