Top Tips for when ALL of your Facebook friends are getting married

Ahhh yes, it’s that time of year again and you’re starting to notice that things like this tend to move like dominos. You go to one wedding in September but by New Years Eve half of your cohort are engaged, married, or procreating or god dammit all three (who doesn’t love a shotgun wedding). Anyway this also means that your Facebook feed is going to be flooded with extravagant engagement photos, wedding pictures, and babies that to you, just look like tiny drunk humans. Here are my top 5 ways to distract yourself and not feel like you’re going to die alone.

Stage a fake photo shoot

I love, love, love seeing these photo shoots online. My favourite was with the couple who staged a maternity shoot with a burrito. Who doesn’t love burritos! It also highlighted the ridiculousness of some of these extravagant shoots and helped to have a little fun in the process.

Google: ‘How to marry yourself’

Don’t lie, you’ve definitely done it. Even if it was 3am and you’re in the middle of a 5 day bender, you still did that thing. One woman in Italy actually did just that, marry herself that is, and bloody good on her. Our entire generation is built around putting ourselves first and although this might be the extreme you can still throw a hell of a party, just for Y-O-U.

Remember: Many Australians don’t have the option to get married

This is a parody article but this particular point is very serious. Gay marriage is currently not legal in Australia and we are going through this ridiculous rigmarole of a (non binding) postal vote to maybe force our leaders into having a discussion about the rights of others. So whilst you may not have a #bae, remember those who have been together for 60 years and can’t get married.

Adopt (another) pet.

The RSPCA is chock full of cute and cuddly friends to take your pain away. You’ll be doing yourself a lot of good and you’ll also be giving your new forever friend a new home. Who knows, you might meet the love of your life whilst you’re trying to stash your new pet at your mates place during your house inspection. The opportunities are endless! Also, it’s coming into summer, all the best single people hang out with their pets and dogs are better at judging people than you are.

Find new friends.

Look, if worst comes to worst, just find some new friends. Friends that aren’t intent on getting married or having children, or any of that settling down business. Then you can take lots of new photos, and flood your feed with wedding debt free pics from all of your travels. That is my exact plan.

Written by Laura Kebby

I write words about talented people doing talented things, and translate chatter by putting pen to paper.

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