“Kids these days…they don’t know how good they’ve got it.” That’s a phrase that most of us, at one point in our lives have heard uttered by a cynical member of the older generation.
But, is it necessarily true? Sure, there are obvious advantages to being a millennial kid, but what about all of the things us old folks enjoyed during our formative years that have since fallen by the wayside.
In that spirit here are some things that the children of today will most likely never get to experience.
Chatterbox Puzzle
This fantastic piece of schoolyard origami was an entertainment staple in this writer’s formative years, providing literally hours of entertainment with nary a screen to be found.
The idea was simple the person operating the fortune teller manipulates the device based on the choices made by the player, and finally, one of the hidden messages is revealed.
Normally those hidden messages revolved around things like “you stink,” or “I know someone who likes you.”
Hilarity always ensued.
Video Shops
The thought of actually leaving the house to rent (not buy, mind you) a black plastic oblong that contained a film is something that would be laughable to a lot of whippernappers.
But getting to go toto the local video shop to pick out the latest new release was a ritual that I looked forward to nearly every week.
Forget Netflix, I was curating my own playlists with weekly B-grade horror flicks and they were wonderful.
Woe betide the person who returned a tape without rewinding, though. Those non-rewinders were the worst.
Mixtapes
The mating ritual of the pre-pubescent ’70s, ’80s or ’90s child would not be complete without the making of a mixtape.
When we were at an age where our words failed us in favour of nervous giggling, the mixtape was the perfect way to tell our potential lady love or beau exactly how we felt.
By juxtaposing Never Say Goodbye by Bon Jovi with Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds on the same side our love would be forever shouted from the rooftops, with the help of a Panasonic boom box, of course.
Dial-up internet
While the above sound was enough to set your teeth on edge back in the days of Alta Vista, ICQ and Ask Jeeves, these days its is enough to send waves of nostalgia washing over more ‘seasoned’ members of the population.
Those jarring noises signalled the start of an epic surfing session that may or may not have included visits to Limewire or Napster.
One downside though was having your mother scream ‘are you on the internet’ from the kitchen, because back then, the internet cut off access to the house landline, meaning a trip to the world wide web would affect the entire family.
Those were the days.
Pugwall
This criminally underrated Channel Nine show based around the exploits of enthusiastic youngster Peter Unwin George Wall (Pugwall) and his band The Orange Organics ignited dreams of musical stardom in more than a few impressionable young Aussies – this one included.
The Organics’ (Pugwall, Stringbean, Bazza, Jenny and Orfo) were thwarted at every turn by their nemesis, Pugwall’s sister Marmaloid.
Sure, anyone can go and check Pugwall out online, but there is something to be said for witnessing this brilliant show while enjoying an afternoon snack after a hard day of Chatterbox Puzzling.
Afternoon programming at its finest
“Just be home before the street lights come on”
Before the term ‘helicopter parenting’ became a thing, parents of the 1970s and ’80s were perfectly happy to leave their progeny to their own devices just so long as they weren’t breaking stuff or getting into mischief.
Whole weekends were spent exploring the neighborhood on pushbikes, scraping knees on skateboards and arguing who was going to bat first in the all-important street cricket test match.
Everything would be alright just as long you were home before the street lights came on. Another axiom that this writer’s father used to employ when getting exasperated with his offspring was ‘why don’t you go and play in the traffic.’
Good times.
