We’re back with our favourite advice columnist for your monthly In Bed with Timberlina session.
Timberlina is once again here to respond to some of your deepest darkest thoughts, questions and overall queries related to fantasies, love interests, sex and umm anything and everything in between.
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HANDY IN HAMILTON
I have the handjob basics down. But I’m looking for some advanced techniques that will take it to the next level. What do you suggest?
I can’t say every guy loves the same kind of hand job and I know a lot of guys that don’t actually enjoy handjobs at all. But I feel like you need be able to really read the person to see if they’re enjoying it or not and know if you need to go further. You could add lube and get more adventurous. Just play around with it and have fun.
WORRIED IN WARATAH
I want more sex than my girlfriend does. I’ve tried bringing up my needs with her multiple times without pressuring her and now I wonder if maybe she doesn’t enjoy the sex that we do have. What can I do?
It is a really common problem. My suggestion is to start foreplay during the day because then your partner will feel an emotional connection for the relationship. You can’t just grab the anatomy and expect your partner to be turned on, it doesn’t work like that. So maybe some flowers, some sexy text through the day, you know, start working on the foreplay at 9 am.
DOMINATING IN DENMAN
My significant other and I have complementing kinkiness. She likes to play the submissive role and I’m into being a DOM. When we started discovering this, we played these roles a lot, but our sex has gradually skewed closer to vanilla. I know she would like to do more dominant submissive play, and I would too, but I find it hard to start because I feel awkward asking. How can I initiate more smoothly?
Correct me if I’m wrong because I don’t know much about DOM and SUB, but would you not have a safe word? If you’ve got a safe word, why not use it to consent to starting things off in the bedroom as well. So you have your safe word for when there is too much going on and a safe word to initiate the role play.
COMING OUT IN CARRINGTON
I recently came out to my boyfriend is bisexual. He didn’t take it well, and now I’m reconsidering our entire relationship. We have a really long history, and I love him tremendously. Is there any way to salvage this?
I’m surprised that he wasn’t into it. I feel like maybe you need to have another conversation about it. Maybe he doesn’t fully understand and isn’t aware that you’re still into the committed relationship, but you’re also attracted to the same sex.