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The 10 Groovin’ The Moo Commandments 2022

Heading to Groovin’ The Moo? Well, we think Thou shalt know thy DO’s and DON’T’s before venturing to Wonnarua Country in Maitland on Saturday, 23 April 2022.

We’ve updated our original 10 Groovin’ The Moo Commandments list that was first posted in 2013 with some extra tips for the 2022 edition of this much-loved festival.

Check it before you wreck it…

  1. Thou shalt know thy festival fashion

We hear it on good authority that glitter lashes are the hot fashion item this year, and after the triumphant Harry Styles set at Coachella, Dopamine Dressing, the act of dressing with the intention of boosting your mood, is the festival trend everyone is jumping on in 2022.

  1. Thou shalt not wait until sundown to make an appearance

Hey, you paid good hard-earned cashola for that ticket so you should totally make the most of it – ESPECIALLY this year when there are some sweet sweet acts pulling the lunchtime shift.

  1. Thou shalt know thy timetable

If you only do one bit of pre-festival prep, make sure it’s mapping out who you want to see and when. Don’t miss your must-see act just because Justin wants to grab one more spiral potato. Although we should says, we’re not entirely against throwing caution to the wind, closing your eyes, spinning round in a circle, and wandering aimlessly off into the sunset – sometimes this is the best way to discover new acts.

  1. Thou shalt not forget thy alcohol does not hydrate

Sure, alcohol and water are both liquids and sometimes it’s easy to get confused. You know the situation – There you are, subduing your thirst with an ice-cold beer/cider/vodka and all of a sudden it’s been 10 hours since you had a drop of water and you’re on the slippery slope to Hangover Town. C’mon people, make a few water pit stops. Your future self will thank you. They might even buy you breakfast.

  1. Thou shalt not disregard personal space

Lads take heed – Nobody wants your sweaty shirtless bod pressed all up against them. NOBODY. And on that note, anyone who feels the impulse to ditch shirt and feel the wind through their chest hair… You are bad and you should feel bad.

  1. Thou shalt dress in weather-appropriate attire

Look, we know that underwear as fashion but please remember Winter is coming. Remember you are in an open field, unprotected from the fickle elements. If the urge to midriff is just too strong, make sure you bring a jacket. Shivering in the mud like a nervous Chihuahua is not, and will never be, a good look.

  1. Thou shalt always treat thy port-a-loo with respect (a.k.a Love thy neighbour)

You’ll never be the first, and you surely won’t be the last. For the good of your fellow festival-goers, don’t be gross.

  1. Thou shalt know the lay of the land

Your festival map is your best friend. It’s your guide to phone chargers, free water and the all-important chill-out area. Download it to your phone and keep it on hand.

  1. Thou shalt not look down thy nose at the children

You’re gonna see some crazy shit but please remember, those of us who are old enough to know better were young once too. They’re just kids having some music festival fun.

  1. Thou shalt not be one of those wankers who pushes people over

We get it, a crowd of people moves slowly. We know because we’re all in the same situation. Don’t risk your life or someone else’s life by being that wanker that pushes the people in front of you to “speed things up”.

Oh, and can we stop it with the “Hey, Baby – oooh aaah” chant at the end of the last set?

Preach.