Welcome to our recap of this week’s Bachelor starring Matt, the man who may or may not be an astrophysicist subcontracting to NAB as a data analyst.
And didn’t he sound all pissy about the media coverage of that little snippet?
So, all the promos this week have led me to believe that this week we would finally get to witness the Big Drama that sees the ladies looking horrified and Matt chucking a Nichole and storming off set.
Just a heads up….that didn’t happen. Not in episode three or four. Apparently, it’s happening next week now. It’s boring, lazy marketing and I’m more annoyed than holding my breath in anticipation.
But here we are.
Episode three opened with some of the old girls bitching about the new girls and all the new girls saying how welcome they feel and what a great time they’re all having.
But the big news is Our Elly has cashed in her Golden Ticket.
Matt organised a date at Melbourne’s Flemington Racecourse, which is quite beautiful when not littered with the bodies of drunken Melbournians in tacky fascinators or the suit they wore to their brother’s wedding three years ago.
Our Elly is all smiles and sunshine and goodness and says she’s “twitching in my
Matt, of course, picks her up in a horse-driven carriage. They spend their date
getting along, gazing into each other’s eyes and just looking like they could
absolutely fall in love.
Yep, we’re still here for your Our Elly! #TeamElly.
Back at the mansion, some of the ladies are off on a group date to play AFL. They
scamper off, don AFL uniforms and run around to impress Matt because today’s
Best and Fairest player gets a single date with him.
And who does he choose? Nichole. Oh boy!
Nichole crows triumphantly and assumes what she sincerely believes is her rightful place at Matt’s side. During the date, she rattles on about her high school sporting achievements. Matt tries to steer the conversation to something else, but Nichole continues to, I dunno, prove how tough she is?
Surprising nobody but Nichole, she doesn’t get a kiss, but she does get a rose.
Personally, I think she only got the rose to soften the blow of the no kiss. There’s no chemistry between them so she’ll be gone within the next few episodes.
During the cocktail party, Matt chooses Monique to go on a solo date with him.
Nichole doesn’t care. She honestly doesn’t.
She. Just. Does. Not. Care.
She doesn’t care so much she cracks it and storms off the set. We all laugh and
laugh! The rose ceremony was uneventful but Jessica, Renee and Jessie went home.
Episode four opens with Matt picking up Monique in a shiny red Ferrari. He then takes her flying in those little Red Baron planes.
She’s all blonde hair, big smiles, seems smart and has genuine chemistry with Matt. I narrow my eyes as I watch Monique and, for the first time, consider she is genuine competition for Our Elly.
Matt confirms this when he says he is smitten with Monique and hands her a rose. Um what? Nooooooooooooo! How can he be smitten with Monique? She’s not Our Elly?
Another group date is for a photo shoot with the ladies and during this shoot, the oh-so-obvious sexual chemistry he has with Sogand re-ignites and, we have a hot new contender. Abbey.
Abbey smoulders her way into Matt’s attentions and back at the mansion, Osher
arrives to announce that the ladies must choose who goes on a single date with
Matt, Abbey or Nichole.
The ladies plot and scheme and plan and, with Abbey promising not to kiss Matt,
they select Abbey. Their reasoning? They don’t want Sogand to have any more one-on-one time with Matt.
This plan is about to backfire in spectacular fashion!
I must admit, if there wasn’t a local girl on this show, and she wasn’t an absolute front runner, I would have quit watching by now.
During the date, the sexual chemistry between Abbey and Matt threatens to engulf the set. No really.
Abbey goes in for the kill and Matt can barely manage to keep his composure. His
Clark Kent glasses keep fogging up. Literally.
The date consists of Abbey and Matt having a full-on pash session, stopping only so he can wipe his classes. Then it’s back to pashing.
When Abbey arrives back at the mansion with a rose, a Cheshire cat sized grin and minus her bright red lippy, the claws really start to come out.
The ladies are livid. Some with a Capital L!
Our Elly, however, shows her usual class and refuses to be dragged down into the
They all calm down long enough to attend the rose ceremony and tonight, it’s
Isabelle’s’ time to go home.
But wait…. Where was the Big Drama? Oh, that’s on next week now. When they
started advertising last week, hinting it would be screened this week, they really
meant next week.
I must admit, if there wasn’t a local girl on this show, and she wasn’t an absolute
front runner, I would have quit watching by now.
So Big Drama is next week now sighs
The Bachelor Australia airs Wednesday and Thursday from 7.30pm on Ten.