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WALKING THE THIN BLUE LINE: Go easy on the force because cops are tops

Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

“…But what may help is bringing back some healthy-looking policemen.”

This, an opinion by a ‘concerned citizen’ was ripped straight from the Newcastle Herald and there are so many things wrong with this sentence I just don’t really know where to begin. 

I love the opinion section of any newspaper. As an opinion writer, obviously that comes as no surprise. But I do love feeling as though I’m peeking behind the curtain of someone’s mind and am constantly left wondering what the flip, if anything, is actually going on upstairs.

This particular opinion piece was in response to an article about a string of assaults on members of the local police force – both published in the Newcastle Herald. One citizen’s response to this string of assaults sounded like a drunk baby boomer at a Trump rally. I’ll just let that sink in a bit first, yep, ok, perfect. 

Why is it, that the response to violence against our police force, would simply be to fight criminals with brute force?

To simply say, these scrawny kids couldn’t walk 20 paces with the artillery they are packing, and to state that most ‘couldn’t bruise a grape’ shows a complete lack of understanding when it comes to the way the world really works.

I’ll amuse our ‘concerned citizen’ here for a second and run with his theory for a red hot minute.

Why don’t we just do away with the police altogether? I mean, thugs don’t need a uniform and as long as they’re bigger than the bad guys, with plenty of women around to bring them coffee after a long hard day walking the beat, it’s a win right?

Because it’s not about negotiation, or tactics, or anything like that. No, no, no let’s beat the bastards down and know that the best defence is always and forever a muscle stacked offence.

The test for this new brute force? You’ve got to be able to scare the pants of a bouncer. Do that, and you’re in. 

Perhaps ‘concerned citizen’ is simply in the throes of a new screenplay, Underbelly – The Newy Edition – Where brutes were brutes and policemen were men because they’re all over six foot.

If this is the case then I applaud your ambition to engage in method writing. But if you want to know what I think, and I guess your own self-description hit the nail on the head, you are a small man, and all disrespect has indeed been passed on. 

Written by Laura Kebby

I write words about talented people doing talented things, and translate chatter by putting pen to paper.