Christmas. ‘Tis the season… to attempt to avoid humiliation, hooking up with the boss (unless you’re into that sort of thing) and/or basically doing a Bridget Jones and ruining your whole career or at least losing your dignity.
And we’ve all seen it, too. and some of us have been it. That overly lit party animal dancing to Beyonce with a lampshade on their head while Susan from HR ‘tsks’ disapprovingly.
So, with office Christmas party season well and truly upon us, here are our top five tips to keep your head and your job.
1. Skip the shots
For real though, it might seem fun at the time and Linda from accounting is finally letting her hair down, but don’t be that guy.
Seriously. Sip and circulate.
2. Eat something for goodness sake
You seriously don’t want to be crowded in a gross bathroom or out in an alleyway because you listened to the seasoned alcoholics say ‘eating is cheating’.
Prep yourself, before you wreck yourself. Those pigs in blankets aren’t just there for sustenance, buddy
3. That crush you have… keep it on ice yeah?
Office romances can be fraught with danger and that danger is amplified when Kris Kringle and work sanctioned booze id thrown into the mix.
Sure, it might seem like the perfect time to act our hearts greatest desires, but the company shindig is really not the time or place friends. Do things properly huh. Ask them out, when sober. Ya dig?
4. Dance on the table if you must, but be prepared
By be prepared obviously we mean practice your runway routine Ru Paul style.
If you’re going to get up there and shake your bootay at least have a good crack. Don’t just get up there arms flailing and legs akimbo like some possessed marionette, to the tune of Neil Diamond’s Crunchy Granola. Choreograph that stuff beforehand!
Maybe then it will go viral and you won’t have to work a day in your life ever again.
5. Don’t yell at the boss
Surely this is self-explanatory but c’mon guys.
Keep your deepest and darkest to yourself and while you’re at it, maybe don’t give your boss a piece of your mind when you’re 12 cocktails deep on the company credit card.