ELIGIBLE: Bachelor Matt Agnew will get pulses racing on the season seven premiere on Wednesday night
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REALITY BITES: Tears, drama, pashing and a Newy hopeful will set hearts aflutter on Bachelor premiere

The wait is over, and the big day is finally here.

Tonight at 7.30 ish the long-awaited premiere of season seven of The Bachelor will hit our screens.

However, this year will be different.

This year while you’re all curled up on your lounge or snug in your bed watching the, hopefully, great love story unfold, we at Newcastle Live will be huddled around our computer screens just waiting for someone to slip, slap, bitch or pash themselves silly so we can all laugh and point – in the nicest possible way, of course.

Okay, so when I say we, I don’t mean the entire office will be on Bachie duty, it’ll just be my friend Lindy and me.

Lindy is a Bachelor super-fan. She looooooves The Bachelor. Me? I’ve only watched two seasons of the Bachelor/Bachelorette. The one with Sophie Monk and then whatshisname from last year who screwed us all over.

But I mentioned once that I thought it’d be funny to write about The Bachelor, and now my editor is holding me to it.

And so here we are.

EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER: There’ll be lots of tears, more pashing, some eye-rolling and bitching, still more pashing, drama and then proclamations of love

I’ve watched the final trailer and there was lots of pashing, some sort of drama, the Bachelor telling someone to leave, lots of tears, more pashing, some eye-rolling and bitching, still more pashing, drama and then proclamations of love for a yet-to-be-identified love interest.

Did I mention pashing? Seriously, I hope this boy has some sort of deal going with
the Pawpaw ointment people because…dude!

LOCAL HOPEFUL: The big news this year is we have a local girl on the show. Yay!
Her name is Elly, she’s from Newcastle, she’s 24 and she’s a nurse. Awwwww we love her already.

But the big news this year is we have a local girl on the show. Yay!
Her name is Elly, she’s from Newcastle, she’s 24 and she’s a nurse. Awwwww we love her already #TeamElly.

She describes herself as enthusiastic, adventurous, happy, outgoing and loyal and
wants a bloke who is kind, funny, selfless, loyal and intelligent.

Her Bachelor bio says Elly is looking for that spark with a man who is family
orientated, humble and wants to travel the world while ticking off their bucket-lists together.

BACHIE GOALS: Her Bachelor bio says Elly is looking for that spark with a man who is family orientated, humble and wants to travel the world while ticking off their bucket-lists together.

It’s a bit lucky then that she wasn’t on last season because that ra-ra bloke turned out to be a bit of a knob. Am I right? Personally, I thought it was hilarious, but I get that a lot of people, including the girls on the show, were very upset.

And anyway, who does that? Who goes on a dating show, where the whole season is just a prelude to the final episode where you choose someone, and then you don’t choose someone? Then, he runs away like a sook fled the country as the episodes aired.

Knob.

Still funny but will it happen again this year? This Matt bloke better not muck around Our Elly! #TeamOurElly.

And speaking of Elly, I did a quick stalk of her Instagram 7 and she loves the beach, her friends, her family, festivals and is super-duper in love with her little godson, Arlo.

More awwwww.

Okay, so I admit I was kinda hoping her Insta would be a little more scandalous or salacious or……something. But nope. She looks like the real deal.

And Lindy and I are here for her!

The Bachelor Australia premieres tonight at 7.30 on Network Ten.

Written by Sue Ellen

Copywriter. Writer. Reviewer. Coffee addict. Handbag tragic. Conspiracy tin hatter. Drama Queen.

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