Welcome to our recap of last week’s The Bachelor starring Matt and Rachael, the girl who may or may not now be involved with fellow contestant Vakoo and, who may or may not have given her telephone number to a crew member, whom she
affectionately calls ‘Plan B’.
Also, this week, the Bachelor mansion has been rocked by allegations that the whole, Plan B thing, was set up by producers to add some drama. And I’ve always wanted to write a piece where I got to say rocked by allegations.
This week on The Bachelor its Danger Week and Abbie must announce that Our Elly is off on her second single date with Matt. Lots of mild bitching ensues with Rachael noting: ‘How predictable. Lets’ be real, it’s the Elly and Matt show and all of us girls are just props.’
Racheal clearly reads my reviews and let’s hope she’s not wrong!
Anyway, Our Elly and Matt go off to learn how to fire dance and once again, there’s a genuine connection between the pair. Matt even brings marshmallows to roast over the open fire, reminiscent of their very first meeting.
Matt loves Elly’s warm genuine laugh and says his BFF Kate had only great things to say about her. Well duh, Our Elly is totes awesome, dude!
Hmmm, so what Kate said is on his mind. Good.
At the end of the date, Our Elly gets a rose and Matt admits he has feelings for her,
his heart flutters and he gets goosebumps.
Back at the mansion; Mary is stirring the pot and going to tell Matt all about
Rachael’s crush on a crew member they all refer to as Plan B, Rachel is moaning
about how she doesn’t see any point to being here, Abbie is snarly because she’s
not on a date with Matt.
Trouble is brewing and it all comes to a head at the cocktail party.
Racheal seems to be sneaking around, Mary tells Matt about Plan B, a producer
produces (ha ha) an intercepted piece of paper with Rachael’s phone number on it, Matt cracks the shits, Rachael says it’s all a joke, Matt askes her to leave and sees
her to her limo.
Lots of mild bitching ensues with Rachael noting: ‘How predictable. Lets’ be real, it’s the Elly and Matt show and all of us girls are just props.
Rachael doesn’t give a shit and can’t get away fast enough.
Oh, and Nikki didn’t get a rose so is also on her way home. Who? Exactly.
This week is Balancing Act and the next group date is with some amazing acrobats.
The girls must perform tricks with Matt, and he chooses who he wants to go on a
single date with where they’ll learn and perform a synchronised silk rope act.
Who thinks up this shit? OMG!
On this group date, the girls really start to turn on Our Elly because of the obvious
chemistry between her and Matt.
Abbie is particularly nasty but when she wins the single date, this nastiness soon turns smug. It’s becoming boring and predictable but by now, we all know Matt’s penis has a big thing for Abbie so just roll our eyes and wait it out another week.
During the silk rope date, Abbie mentions handcuffs and Matt can barely contain his eagerness to kiss Abbie and they kiss while spinning around hanging onto long
pieces of material.
It’s commendable that nobody threw up. I know I want to.
Abbie tells Matt she’s falling for him and she gets a rose. Chelsie and Matt go on another date and again, their chemistry is palpable. This time, she really opens up to him and once again, I worry for Our Elly.
At the cocktail party, Sogand starts to feel a bit desperate and does an awkward belly dance for Matt. I cringe. We all cringe
But Our Elly trumps any dance and gives Matt a flanno. He laughs, she grins, and I
start googling wedding fascinators in preparation for The Big Day.
The other girls are again worried about Our Elly but forget all about her when Matt takes off his shirt to try on his new flanno. They all swoon except, of course Abbie who smugly announces she’s already seen it twice before.
Even the old bloke who lives next door and isn’t even watching The Bachelor rolls
his eyes. Anyway, tonight both Mary and Nichole don’t receive a rose.
Personally, I think Abbie will make it to the final 4 and my hope is Matt’s mum will see through her and read Matt the riot act as she’s simultaneously handing the
family tiara to Our Elly.
Admit it, those optics alone would be thanks enough for having to sit through this
This week, Bachelor royalty drop in to have dinner and offer their opinions. As
I’ve only watched the Sophie Monk and Nick the Dick’s seasons, I don’t know who they are. But everyone seems impressed so …
The Bachelor Australia continues on Wednesday from 7.30pm on Ten