Welcome to our recap of this week’s The Bachelor starring Matt, who recently disclosed that his secret code name for his secret love is Rose.
So, tonight was the night of Big Drama! But how did we all end up here?
We open with a house divided. While the ladies draw swords and take sides, Osher arrives and they’re all whisked away to the Central Coast for some time out of the house.
But the producers are evil because and allow Matt to choose Abbie for his single date.
OMG, they’re just thrown fuel on the fire. For a moment I’m shocked. Then I laugh and congratulate them on such a sly move.
Abbie is giddy and the pair set off to make cocktails from scratch. Literally. The date not only includes drinking and chatting, it involves the squelching of citrus fruits in a small wooden barrel. But will Abbie drink foot juice?
You bet your arse she will.
Matt is grossed out. I’m grossed out. We’re all grossed out and lean closer to the screen to take another very long look at Abbie.
The idea that we’ve all missed something with this one starts to take hold.
Abbie tells us she’s feeling guilty about what’s being said about Matt back at the mansion and, because she cares for him, she feels obliged to throw Monique on that fire the producers lit when they let Abbie have today’s single date.
It’s sly, catty and calculated. It’s also why I’m watching.
And then it happens.
Lazing in a dark pool with Matt, she dobs on Monique. Abbie tells him Monique has called him ‘a dog c*** and a disrespectful pig’.
Matt’s stunned. We’re stunned. Abbie bats her eyelashes and looks caring.
Abbie gets a rose.
As this point, I’m onto you Abbie. Nichole might be our bogan mean girl but you’re the real deal, snake in the grass mean girl. The truly nasty kind.
Time will tell if I’m right about this, but I see you!
The next day, Matt’s concerned about what he heard the night before and isn’t quite sure what to do about it all. So, he gathers some of the girls, feeds them wine and cheese and tries to extract some truths.
He fails but finds the adorable geek girl Chelsie so adorable that he takes her away for some alone time.
Matt and Chelsie are like a match made in heaven. They meet in perfect unison on an intellectual level and the spark of something romantic are also apparent. Matts wonders if Chelsie has read the handbook on what Matt wants in a relationship because she slamming every box.
Chelsie gets a rose.
I worry for Our Elly.
Matt then has a date with Helena. They grow a pearl and he gives her a necklace and some earrings. I like Helena.
Helena gets a rose.
At the cocktail party, Matt sets about trying to find the truth about what Monique said. He asks Monique and she denies everything. He brings Abbie in. He then asks other girls.
Honestly, I could write about this all night but basically, Matt wants the truth and the truth hinges not so much on what Monique said but the way she said it.
Monique just keeps denying she said it. Matt’s not stupid and neither are we. Monique, just fess up.
This drama isn’t being resolved but there’s a rose ceremony to be had.
To everyone’s surprise, Matt keeps Monique. For a smart man, he just did a very dumb thing.
The next day, Osher announces at a group date the girls will be playing Match the Bach.
What is Match the Bach? It’s a game where the girls must fight for a bridal bouquet that’s been flung at them from a giant slingshot. Feminism is also flung back to the 1950’s
The final 5 girls are then further humiliated by having to dress and brides and fight for a single date with Matt.
Matt look suitable embarrassed and admits this looked amusing on paper but now….
I’m liking this guy more and more.
Vakoo wins but sadly manages to giggle herself out of both a kiss and a rose. I think it’s Vakoo’s time to go.
Matt wants more time with Chelsie. He takes her to his Bachelor pad, they bake, swim and really get along. Like really, really, REALLY get along. It’s adorable and funny and uh oh …..Our Elly needs to get in there. Fast!
Back at the mansion, Abbie the snake is saying she can’t see Chelsie being Matt’s type. How very wrong she is.
Another cocktail party, another attempt by Matt to get to the truth with Monique. He pulls her aside, she keeps dodging the truth, but Matt isn’t stupid and he’s had enough. He doesn’t care about what she’s said really, he’s sick of the lies.
Matt suggests being in the house might not be the best thing for Monique.
The promos for next week show the girls get fed up with Abbie and try to call her on her bullshit. But will she throw them all under the bus or will Matt use his smarts and sort her out too?
She’s confused and asks, ‘you don’t want me to be here anymore?’
Matt’s response… ‘I think it’s for the best you leave the mansion’
He does it. He shows her to the car, slams the door and strides back inside.
The women are shocked, and Abbie gets to showcase her acting skills by trying to seem shocked.
I now know that Abbie is, indeed, the snake I suspected she was. I hiss at the screen and hope Matt wises up to her antics sooner rather than later.
Another rose ceremony and surprising nobody, Vakoo is sent home.
Next weeks, the promos show the girls get fed up with Abbie and try to call her on her bullshit. But will she throw them all under the bus or will Matt use his smarts and sort her out too?
Okay………looks like I’m in for another week and I am really worried for Our Elly.
The Bachelor Australia continues Wednesday at 7:30pm on Channel 10