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MOVIE REVIEW: Aquaman

Running Time :  143 minutes

Release Date :  Boxing Day

Who is in it : Jason Momoa, Amber Heard, Willem Dafoe, Patrick Wilson, Nicole Kidman, Temuera Morrison,

What is it: This is the movie with Jason Momoa in it.

I genuinely think I could stop here but I wont ….

This is the origin story for DC’s Aquaman and the internet confirms it has little to do with the original comic book version.

Arthur Curry (Momoa) is the half human, half Atlantean result of an illicit love affair between a human father (Morrison) and the Atlantean Queen, Atlanna (Kidman). When he was just a small child, his mother, pursued by her evil husband’s henchmen, left Arthur with his father and went back to her underground kingdom in order to save them all.

Many years later, Curry utilises his unique abilities and protects the oceans from modern day pirates.  One day, Atlantean Mera (Heard), appears and pleads with Curry to join her in protecting his ocean family and people.

As the rightful heir to the throne of Atlantis, Curry is the only one who can stop his power crazed half-brother, King Orm (Wilson) becoming Ocean Master and ruler of all 7 underwater kingdoms.

Why should I watch it: Oh boy….where do I start

Along with many, many other people over the last few months, I have been enjoying the PR and accompanying images of a half-dressed Momoa as they readied us for Aquaman. Momoa has, to the delight of us all, taken The Jason Momoa World Tour on the road.

There have been countless photos and videos of him doing very manly things….. scaling mountains, riding motorbikes, surfing, hiking, hanging out with friends, promoting good causes, praising his wife, being a hands-on dad and basically being a very handsome, very active human being.

2 weeks ago, we even had an Aquaman haka. Yep, yep, yep.

We was in lurve!

I have often wondered, over the last few months, why were we watching the Jason Momoa World Tour run riot across the globe when we should be watching the Aquaman World Tour. I know he is quite a presence but…..he didn’t do this single-handedly.

Right?

Then I watched the movie and now I have my answer.

Aquaman is a glorious to watch. The underwater sequences are spectacular. They are very clever and very convincing, entire kingdoms within kingdoms and the fights scenes are really something else.

With very little to work with and therefore, an entire world to create, the writers had the rare chance to do anything they wanted, make anything happen.

And they squandered it all because the script is shit.

There was far too much story and therefore, endless exposition as each new character stopped and served up their piece of the pie. This lead to a disjointed stop and start feel for the first half of the movie. The story needed a narrator or a central story teller, to tie it all together so we can move on. At the very least, they could have spent 10 minutes doing a complete ‘Once upon a time …’ thing and brought us all up to speed.

Kidman was divine, Wilson was surprisingly menacing as the Pretender to the Throne, Heard was tiresome and one note and Momoa….. well, he did the best he could. He is not the best actor, doesn’t claim to be but he deserved far more than this script gave him.

Overall, it was very disappointing.

This movie will make squillions and Aquaman 2 will be given the green light. But please, get better writers and yes I could do better and yes, for this, I am available.

3 stars


ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I am Sue-Ellen (never Sue please, but feel free to ditch the hyphen).After 8 or so years writing content for various online sites and publications, I decided to venture forth on my own and founded Write Here Copywriting in late 2017. My main goal is to help small businesses find their voice in the white noise of the interwebs. It may seem a little daunting to begin with, but when we commit to working together, your voice will suddenly ring clear and true.

Click here to visit Sue-Ellen’s website

Written by Sue Ellen

Copywriter. Writer. Reviewer. Coffee addict. Handbag tragic. Conspiracy tin hatter. Drama Queen.

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