For those who grew up in Newcastle (and just never left), March only means one thing, the Newcastle show. When you were a kid though it was kind of a big deal. You got the day off school (queue ‘back in my day’ quotes from everyone born pre 1999), you spent all your pocket money on show bags you didn’t need, ate far too much food, probably got a little tipsy, and had the best time ever. Over recent years though, it seems the Newcastle show, in the eyes of some, has lost some of it’s (not so) small town charm. I’m all about nostalgia and like a true Novocastrian obviously all about holding onto the past so here it is kids, your millennials guide to the Newcastle Show.
Give it one last crack
Sure you went three years ago with your ex-boyfriend and it was weird and awful and of course, it rained. But that was three years ago! Surely that’s enough time for old wounds to heal and I know you’ve missed those Bertie Beetles show bags right? Also, you’ve got more money now then you did then… Treat. Yo. Self.
Let Loose, Let Go and embrace your inner kid
Remember going to the show and feeling so excited. Before you were too cool to feel things, especially happy things. Remember being just so overwhelmed by all the rides, and the giant slide, in particular, made you giddy with excitement? Remember having your first kiss on the ferris wheel? Just tap in to that feeling again and wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care.
You’ve been living a blessed life all year, indulge man, indulge
Look I know you’ve been craving a pluto pup since you set that New Years resolution after you downed a half a bottle of champagne. You’ve been hitting f45 like you life depends on it, gramming up a storm with your #blessed life you’ve earned this. Treat. Yo. Self. The food at the show is the best part! (Unless your a celiac or lactose intolerant but you can’t have everything in life). Brave the stomach ache the next day and live a little yeah? Them hot chips man, they be calling yo name.
Showbags, showbags, showbags
Need I say more? Splash some of that hard earned cash on something other than smashed avocado. How about a bag full of blow up toys which will fill your share house with even more useless junk. But it will be worth it when you wake your housemates up with that airhorn, or better still, how about a blow up squeaky baseball bat to the face at 4am when you come home drunk? Duh.
Take a date
A controversial last point, sure, and if you’re single feel free to choose your own adventure and head back to point number one. But if you’re not… a) lucky you! and b) take a date. Treat the one you love (or the one you’re sleeping with it is the tinder age after all to a romantic night at the show. The lights, the stars, the fireworks, hello #romance done right.