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I’ve held Marie Kondo and it did not spark joy

I don’t even know where to start here but I’ll give it a red hot go just the same. You’ve probably seen, heard, felt, talked about or even engaged in the latest craze to sweep our Netflix binge sessions. Marie Kondo. The world’s tiniest human and her (what some would call) ingenious ways of tidying are currently sweeping out great nation and I want to know how to stop it.

Why, you ask? It’s the new year, you say. It’s all about new year new me and the best way to feel like it’s a new year new me is to throw out all our shit right? Wrong. So so wrong. Also firstly, I don’t have a beef with anyone wanting to tidy up their living space and make their house a reflection of the person they really are.

Tidy spaces make for tidy minds but what I do have a problem with, are the following (neatly organised, sequential) points.

Where does all the stuff go?

Ok so, you’ve asked each one of your items whether they individually give you that spark of joy we’re all craving and you’ve realised that about 60% of your inanimate objects do not cause you to make the half giggle half squeal sound like you’ve just swallowed a firework. Well if they aren’t sparking you joy they are now useless and should be thrown out immediately. Basically discarded and metaphorically set on fire right? Wrong friends, so so wrong. If you are going to do a big clear out, think mindfully about where your discarded objects are going. If the answer is landfill then check yourself before you wreck yourself. Donate your clothes, give your cd’s to someone who will listen to them, make some extra cash on gumtree, whatever. Just don’t dump it and run and hope for the best. P.s donating doesn’t mean dumping and running either.

The books. Stay. Got it.

Clear out, de-clutter whatever, but throwing out books? Marie get out of my house. Seriously. Marie’s philosophy on books is that you should only keep books in your home that serve and reflect your current life purpose… or something along those lines. But the books we read don’t necessarily have to simply be a reflection of our best selves. In fact if they were, what a boring literary existence we would lead. For the record I am an avid book collector and I am very protective of each and every one. To me, Marie’s philosophy says that I can’t have Misery by Stephen King on my shelf because I am not currently a writer being held hostage and forced to either write or die. It also says that I can’t have Harry Potter on my shelf because I need to give up on the fact that my Hogwarts letter isn’t coming. (It’s been almost 2 decades and I’m still not over it k?). Anyway, books are meant to challenge us, show us different perspectives and be the windows into another life so we can take pieces back into the one we’re actually living right now. Keep your books. Love your books. Read your books.

Marie Kondo’s method doesn’t work for everyone (and her boxes cost $89)

Marie’s method just isn’t practical for everyone. The truth is, you have to go and buy more stuff to utilise her method effectively – yes her box sets cost about $89. The only one tidying here is Marie when she cleans out your damn wallet. Which brings me to my next and final point

The Spark Joy method doesn’t get to the heart of the problem

We all, have a problem with consumerism. I read an article the other day which said we all know how to buy things but we don’t know how to own things. We live in a time where you can get your hands on anything at any time and all in an instant. We don’t fix things, we replace them. We upgrade them. Change them. Then throw them out. It’s consumerism which is the problem, not the tidying. Stop buying stuff and there will be less to tidy. Simple. #joy #blessed