As Novocastrians we’re all a little skeptical about change, especially when it comes to our beaches. I mean, it’s what Newcastle is known for after all. The giant stretch of coastline, pristine salt water, and spending summer days covered in sunscreen and sweaty summer nights dreaming about one day having enough money to move into a place with air-conditioning. There’s been a bit of an uproar recently about the new ‘developments’ to the Nobbys beach change-rooms. There’s also been a lot of speculation about exactly why these drastic changes were put in place. These are issues I’m not going to delve into, because this isn’t one of those articles. This is one of those articles set to give you a good lol about the absurdity of the whole situation, and attempt to face the whole thing with a little bit of a giggle. So without further adieu, here are five ways to combat the current shower situation at Nobbys beach after that rework, summertime dip.
Run through the sprinklers along the foreshore.
You know the ones that always seem to be watering so much more of the footpath than the grass? You can combine the whole activity wth a touch of cardio and live your best life. Even add some style to the whole affair and moon walk your way through them. You do you after all.
Make like you forgot your membership card at one of the many gyms around town
Say it with me ‘oh sorry I just, I don’t have my membership card my pet llama ate it and I am just really desperate for a shower you know because I have this thing, like an interview thing and I really need this job and…’. You could literally go on for hours, until eventually, the lovely smiling person behind the desk is going to let you in, just so you stop talking and they can go back to their Instagram feed. Case closed.
Jump in the bubbler
Sure, people might stare a little, and wonder exactly what you’re doing, until they walk into the change rooms and see the ‘improvements’ and just line up right behind you. You can all share towels and stories about the glory days of ’97 whilst you’re there. Community spirit at its finest.
Set up an extravagant camp shower
Think about it, there’s a business opportunity here right? Showers are lacking, especially some with hot water and with that touch of a thing called privacy we all seem to lust over. Why not set up a little mobile camp shower and and charge people a dime a dozen. Maybe you could use the funds to build a new shower block? #justshowerthoughts
If all else fails, a giant slip and slide will do.
I feel like if you really sit down and think about this process properly, this could be a very finely tuned production line. Set up the slip and slide and the very top of this hill in the park. Run full pelt, slide down a bright blue river of cool non salty water, up a ramp, air dry, and land perfectly inside your work clothes. And they said you had no talent.