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IN BED WITH TIMBERLINA: All your sex and relationship questions answered

We’re back with our favourite advice columnist for your monthly In Bed with Timberlina session.

Timberlina has once again answered all the curly questions sent into Afterdark, which you can stream live on Newcastle Live Radio every Thursday night from 8pm.

This monthTimberlina covers issues with rough sex, communication problems and libido problems.

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ROUGH IN RATHMINES

I like rough sex. I’ve tried to explain to my partner that I like it rough, but he assumes it means really intense things like choking or slapping me in the face. I don’t like those specific things, but he sees it as black and white. How do I get him to see that I want rough, but not that rough?

I guess you need to have my favourite thing here… Communication.

You could find videos to show him what you’re really into and that’s what you want to try or have that communication explaining exactly what you like rough. And then he’s probably going to understand more and be able to do it. If you don’t show someone or tell them what you want, then obviously it’s going to be a flop. It’s like learning how to dance. If you don’t teach them the dance, then they’re not going to know it.

SEX DRIVE IN SANDGATE

What can I do about my sex drive disappearing from birth control? There was a huge change as soon as I started even though I only use progesterone, which my doctor said would be better.

Most women need foreplay and that foreplay can be anything from a coffee that’s being made for you in the morning to lovely text messages and flowers. Maybe it isn’t the pill, maybe you just need that love. Maybe he or she needs to pull their finger out and get you in the mood earlier on in the day not just like four minutes before they’re ready.

COMMUNICATION IN CARRINGTON

My partner and I have totally different communication styles. I like to talk about things that are bothering me, whereas he tends to get pretty quiet and clams up. I start worrying that it means he’s upset with me. This might be because growing up, my dad would get really quiet when he was angry and then would explode in a rage. I end up bothering him even more because I’m so anxious about trying to figure out if he’s mad or not. How do we fix this?

That’s a hard one because obviously, he doesn’t like talking face-to-face about the issues that he’s having.

Maybe you need to say to him, let’s find a style that’s going to work. Maybe he likes to write them down. Maybe he can send you a voicemail memo. And if it’s really extreme, and nothing is working, maybe you need to go to couples counselling so you can really work out those communication styles.


Stay safe out there and you want to send in your questions you can DM me on Instagram or send an email to afterdark@newcastlelive.com.au

Glittery Love, 
Timberlina