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Why you should keep it classy in the Hunter Valley over festival season

Why do events at wineries open the door for people to lose all self-control, get lit and cut sick?

The weather is getting warmer, people’s bank accounts are chock-a-block full after a year spent working for the man and now everyone is ready to blow off a little steam and get a little silly. It is the season after all. All of this, of course, leads into outdoor concerts and events, most of which, particularly in the Hunter Valley are usually held at one of the many wineries scattered around the region.

Why do people act like complete idiots as soon as they step out of the shuttle bus and onto the winery grounds?

It’s just ridiculous, honestly, and something that I don’t understand. Maybe it’s because people are a little way from home, they think they are on some sort of holiday even though it’s a Wednesday night and they are literally just catching the bus home (or getting their very annoyed partner to drive them) that night. Example, at the Dolly Parton concert a couple of years ago, I saw someone skull half a bottle of wine, calmly walk to the back of the crowd, proceed to upchuck (v loudly) and then skull the other half of the bottle of wine. Of course, this Muppet was wearing a white shirt and drinking red wine, which made for an even bigger lol.

Why do people treat the Hunter Valley as the epicentre of smug yuckness?

Festivals over multiple locations often see minibuses full of young and old alike, skulling bottles (and bottles) of wine on the bus in between venues, only to arrive and proceed to immediately need to go to the bathroom (often in the middle of the carpark). Oh and yes, that extends way beyond just a quick little liquid release, I’m talking well… you know, let’s not get too crass.

Why do events at wineries open the door for people lose all self-control, get lit and cut sick?

Aren’t these winery events meant to be a little classier? Aren’t they meant to be a little more highbrow than your Sunday arvo at the pub? If so, vomiting and passing out in eveningwear isn’t doing it. Maybe people aren’t innately wine drinkers, and they haven’t permitted themselves to wrap their lips around the sweet sweet grape in a while so it’s all a little bit too much. Or maybe they revert back to their young days of drinking strawberry wine and making out for fun. I dunno.

Written by Laura Kebby

I write words about talented people doing talented things, and translate chatter by putting pen to paper.