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To the parents on the sideline. You’re all a bunch of babies.

Laura Kebby -

Lifestyle Opinion

So here we are. It’s actually come to this. Really? Quite honestly, you should all be ashamed of yourselves. You know exactly what I’m talking about and who I’m talking to. But for those who are missing the memo, I’ll elaborate. I read an article that caught my eye recently,about ‘Shoosh For Kids Week’. Like I said, has it really come to this? Have parents on the sideline become so uncontrollable that we actually need to dedicate a full week to getting their behaviour in check? To the parents who engage in such behaviour, I have this to say…

G’day,

It’s Saturday morning. Why does kids sport start so early right? What kind of pep talk are you giving your son or daughter in the car on the way to your local field, court, or diamond? Are you talking about their game at all, or are you reminiscing on your own glory days where you played for blood and glory. Your son or daughter is most likely in the back, thinking about whether you remembered that game day means a Happy Meal on the way home. Are you asking them how they are feeling, or what tactic you’re hoping they remember to execute on the field today?

“Just push her out of the way, she’s the worst player on the field what’s wrong with you!”
I’m just trying to work out what your morning routine looked like, the one that you shared with your small child, so I can maybe work out exactly what caused the flipping brain snap you experienced on the sideline. You know the one where you acted like a giant baby and decided to verbally tear the ref apart? You realise the target of your rage was a 14 year old kid right?



Now I hope I’m not confusing anyone here. This isn’t about parents yelling and cheering a whole host of constructive yet spirited remarks from the sidelines, especially if your child is a little older.  I played highly competitive sport myself, and it’s really great to see parents involved in the game. We should encourage our kids to do their best. They should run hard, go for the ball, and give it their best shot. What I’m talking about here, is when you yell out to a player on the opposing team as they take a penalty, “you’ve got nothing mate, ya weak!”. He’s 13. Or “just push her out of the way, she’s the worst player on the field what’s wrong with you!”. Or my personal favourite “who was that pass actually to? Maybe if you opened your eyes and passed it to (insert son or daughters name) we’d be winning. Things get ugly when we lose sight of our surroundings, and remember… It’s just a game.

Yes. Sport is all about passion, heart, determination and working as a team towards a common goal, but have you actually taken the time to watch the game your kids are playing? They aren’t carrying the weight of a nation on their shoulders whilst they all follow the ball around on the field, so why are you? They’re most likely falling over, dribbling the ball the wrong way, forgetting that they have to actually concentrate in order to work out what way they are meant to run and kick the ball at the same time.  Where does that anger come from? It’s not just competitiveness either, that ploy definitely won’t fly with me. It’s honestly pure hate and self loathing in my opinion. Check yourself before you (absolutely) wreck yourself.

Yes. Sport is all about passion, heart, determination and working as a team towards a common goal, but have you actually taken the time to watch the game your kids are playing?
I will clarify here, that I have nothing against the actual initiative itself, especially due to the fact that apparently it’s not just needed, it’s necessary. In line with this, you can find a list of handy hints and tips online to give you a helping hand. (Hard) things like ‘keep it fun’ and ‘think before you speak’. Don’t worry, I know it’s a lot to remember so never fear, there’s a solution for that too. If mentally reminding yourself not to crucify the tiny children running around on the field is too much to handle, some clubs are giving out minties to literally help you shut your mouth. What a time to be alive hey?

So this weekend, how about keep your mouth in check? Leave the self entitled bigot at home and take a seat in the early morning sunshine, sip your coffee, enjoy the bacon and egg roll, and just… shoosh.

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