Allday has taken to Facebook to take on Masterfoods over “unfortunate circumstances” that left the Melbourne based rapper “looking like a mental jizz fiend”.
It was a late breakfast that turned bad for Allday, who plays The Bar On The Hill as part of the Stress Less Sessions on November 5.
A desire for a little condiment on his vegan sausage roll left him with a sauce stain on his pants. He was less than impressed and wrote to MasterFoods, the maker of the sauce he was using via his facebook page.
I write to you in unfortunate circumstances. Today is a dark day in condiment history.
At 11:28am this morning I was attempting to use one of your single tomato sauce “Squeeze On” packets for my vegan sausage roll when I discovered that your product was tragically faulty. No matter how hard I tried, no sauce was being expelled from the sauce hole. My squeezes were fruitless.
Bravely, I soldiered on. My index finger and thumb wrestling with your evil sauce packet in the name of Australian pride. Defending our God given right to eat an unhealthy late breakfast.
Then, disaster struck. Your tomato sauce packet exploded all it’s 14g of sauce all over the crotch area of my pants (see attached photo).
I’ve had to walk around the rest of the day looking like a mental jizz fiend. It has been no fun at all.
Society doesn’t look kindly on people who look like they have a truck driver sized jizz load dried up on their pants.
Obviously, this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to your company. I imagine you’ll want to recall all of your products and have them destroyed. Whatever your course of action, it won’t be able to mend my broken heart.
The post (embedded below) has seen a lot of interaction from both fans of his music and tomato sauce.
Allday plays The Bar On The Hill on November 5. Tickets are still available through OzTix
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