It takes 7 days to recover from a conversation with the Doug Anthony All Stars. At least that’s what our contributor, Dan Beazley, told us when he said it would take him a week to write up the interview we organised with Paul McDermott, Tim Ferguson and newly crowned DAAS member Paul Livingston ahead of their show at Newcastle’s Civic Theatre on May 9.
Chatting to the Doug Anthony All Stars is a bit like being inside a washing machine with a load of your favourite band shirts and a few pairs of undies; discombobulating, slightly painful but, ultimately inspiring. It’s a story you can tell your mates about. Here are 8 things I learnt from my chat with DAAS.
1 – Tim Ferguson likes wearing a G-string
DAN: What are you wearing?
TIM FERGUSON: I don’t normally wear a G-String but I’m waring one today, un-normally.
DAN: Will you be wearing G-Strings when you play the Civic on May 9?
TIM FERGUSON: No we’ll be doing it without G-Strings, which is what makes it special.
2 – They hate sliders
DAN: We ran a poll last week to find Newcastle’s best burger. What do you guys think makes a good burger?
TIM FERGUSON: Newcastle.
PAUL McDERMOTT: No beetroot and some smug barista to fucking serve it to ya.
TIM FERGUSON: They’ve got to overdo the meat in the classic burger way.
PAUL McDERMOTT: Nice buns
TIM FERGUSON: Sauce.
PAUL McDERMOTT: Have you had any of those tiny burgers? Those fucking shit house tiny burgers they have now?
PAUL LIVINGSTON: Sliders
PAUL McDERMOTT: Sliders! Thats what they’re called. What’s with the fucking sliders?
PAUL LIVINGSTON: I know where to slide ’em.
PAUL McDERMOTT: That’s just a shit waiting to happen.
PAUL LIVINGSTON: Goes in, comes out the same way so you can do it again.
3 – They’re not fans of piracy
TIM FERGUSON: People that don’t want to pay the 10 bucks can go to jail!
4 – They don’t have many friends on social media
TIM FERGUSON: Social media! It’s not very sociable, most of the tweets I get are from the federal police or strangers telling me to shut up!
5 – They have no idea who I am or what Newcastle Live is
DAN: How do you feel about being interviewed by a nobody from a online publication in Newcastle NSW?
TIM FERGUSON: We see everything online as totally legitimate and believable. Even some of the great health cures suggested are 100% believable. So if you say you’re important, we’re so doe-eyed about the new media that we’re happy to agree with you.
PAUL McDERMOTT: I think the analogy about the butterfly wings and chaos theory holds true here. That it may seem insignificant to us at this point in time, but who knows what sort of reverberations it will have in the future.
6 – Some people see their legacy on Australian comedy as more of a tribute
DAN: In your press release it says you’ve left a legacy on Australian comedy, what legacy is that?
TIM FERGUSON: Well you need a blue light to be able to see it. But if you look with a microscope you’ll see little me, little McDermott and little Livingston swimming around.
PAUL McDERMOTT: Some people call it a tribute rather than a legacy, but we’ll go with whatever.
7 – They still fuck dogs in the park after dark
PAUL McDERMOTT: We still certainly perform the dog song. We changed the words though now to make it more contemporary, it’s just now “I love dogs, they are really good”.
TIM FERGUSON: And because we’re so old, our eyesight is not so good, so usually dusk or twilight.
8 – They still shock people
DAN: Are you finding it harder these days to make an impact and shock people?
PAUL McDERMOTT: Ha!
TIM FERGUSON: No, we find that if we apply the right clamps on the right part of their person, usually you will get at least a flicker of surprise in their eyeballs. I usually like my gimps to be a little wide eyed, it’s when they start to get over it that I’ve got to get rid of them.
PAUL McDERMOTT: It’s when they’re running around the room with that crazy look in their eyes not realising they’re dead.
The Doug Anthony All Stars bring their madness to Newcastle’s Civic Theatre on May 9. You can grab your tickets from http://premier.ticketek.com.au/shows/show.aspx?sh=DOUGANTH15
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