To celebrate the Doug Anthony All Stars show at the Civic Theatre Newcastle on Saturday 27 May, we’re proud to present 5 Albums To Avoid Before Getting Frisky with your significant other by Tim Ferguson.
1) Meat Is Murder – The Smiths
The single from this album, ‘That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore’ is as convincing as ‘This Bacon Isn’t Tasty Anymore’.
Before getting down, get your proteins up. Chop chop.
2) The United States Military Academy Band, West Point – The US Military Academy Concert Band
Brilliantly played! Meticulous conducted! 100% guaranteed to kill anything with horns.Best played by fathers intending to terrify their daughters’ hipster boyfriends.
3) Talking with the Taxman about Poetry – Billy Bragg
Unless you’re aroused by musical lectures in Marxism, you’ll have more allure singing Advance Australia Fair with a Bundy Martini in your hand.
4) Enya – Enya
To be fair, Enya’s tinkling, gasping humourlessness will appeal to 1st Year Arts students who can’t afford to drink mouthwash. But anyone with a brain will dial for an Uber.
5) All Of The Above – United [Hillsong]
Lacks the reckless, raunchy come-hitherness of Godspell.
The Doug Anthony All Stars hit the Civic Theatre Newcastle on Saturday 27 May. Tickets are on sale now.
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